Nearly a Dirty Weekend
At Work
“ Heh! Stuart, How would you like to come away with me for a weekend?”
“ Did I hear right Pete? “; “ I thought you said for us to go away together?” “ I am happily married and maybe you are too?”
“ I thought that would get your attention, actually I won a luxury weekend away in a Villa among the hinterland and Marg can’t come as she is still with her sick mother up north,
“ What’s out there?”
“I believe there are lot’s of tramping tracks, a good swimming hole and the prize also includes some pampering like massages and relaxing meditation. The prize offer ends this weekend
“ Sounds great, Pete, I like the massage part?” “ I’ll talk it over with Joan tonight”
Next Day.
‘ I say Pete! about that weekend away, Joan said it would a good break for me to get away from doing chores and the kids, but made me promise, no hanky panky”
“ That’s great, we’ll get away after work on Friday, I’ll take my car, it shouldn’t be more than an hour and a half, maybe there will be time for a short walk before dark”
“ Sounds good to me, Pete, better fish out my sturdy sneakers, mustn’t forget the insect repellent, I’ll bring that bottle of rum Joan gave me at Christmas, maybe we’ll need a nightcap”
Friday Night.
“Sorry I’m a bit late, Stuart, forgot to organise someone to feed the cat and dog, anyway we are off now, see you Joan”
“ Bye Joan, promise no mischief”
At the Villa.
“ Looks a bit posh for us, Pete? we had better practice talking with a plum in our mouths”.
“ Don’t worry too much, they are probably very nice people, I’ll go and get the key to our room”
At the bedroom
‘ Gees! Pete, look at the furniture, a huge T.V. screen and a bar, I don’t think I’ll bother with a walk, we better check out the sleeping arrangements and bring our gear in”
“ Holey cow, there has be a mistake, Pete, only one huge bed?”
“ Hell, your right Stuart, can’t have that, I’ll go down and complain, I told the receptionist to expect two males to stay.”
Return to bedroom.
“ The girl down there laughed, and then apologised, she forgot to tell us to take off the bedspread and we’ll see two single beds, just pull them apart, give us a hand, Stu”.
“ Thank god for that, you had me worried for a minute”
“ That’s all done, now lets have a drink before going to the restaurant for dinner, I’m starving”
“ Cheers, Stuart, heres to a relaxing weekend free from any worries and strife”
“ Cheers, Pete, can’t wait for that complimentary massage”
Next morning, early.
“Come on Pete, don’t lie there all day, I can smell bacon and eggs”.
“I need to catch up some sleep after your bloody snoring half the night”.
“Joan never complains, I guess she doesn’t want to wake me because I may get amorous”.
“Don’t kid yourself”.
Morning walk
Just look at that scenery and the air is so pure, it should clear your lungs, and do you still miss your fags?”.
“Sure do, Pete, especially when someone lights up near me”.
“ Heh! Stu, take a look at that, will you! What a beaut. I’ve never seen such a crystal
clear Pool way out in the sticks before”.
“Bugger, why didn’t we bring our cosies, Pete”
“Gee, you’re a prude, whose going to see us, come on lets skinny dip”.
“ Hell, I hope my kids never hear about this, the water sure is refreshing, isn’t it?”.
“ Pete, do you see some flashes of colour behind those bushes/”.
“ Yeh, it looks like a couple of old girls spying on us, tell you what, don’t take any notice of them and after a while we’ll both come out of the water. I bet that will send them running”.
“What a laugh, you wouldn’t think those oldies could run so fast”.
“You mean, looking at you would be like a scene from the Rocky Horror show”.
Mid morning.
“ Boy, that was a good walk and swim, what say we find out about that massage”.
“ Okay, by me, you go, I need a shower”.
“Are you powdered up Stuart?, we have our pampering session in half an hour, just time for a shower to sweeten the old bod up a bit”.
The massage room. Two big muscle men, one says
“Okay chaps, strip off, lie on the beds and put a sheet over you”.
“Gee, I don’t think that’s a good idea”.
“Me neither, Pete”.
2nd guy.
“Come on. Don’t be such wooses you two, a good rub down will do wonders “.
An hour later.
“ I must say I was a bit nervous having those huge hands sliding across my butt”.
“Come on, you enjoyed it”.
That evening.
“ Well, Pete, we sure have had some new experiences, let’s knock the top of a few stubbies then go and enjoy another nice meal”.
Sunday morning
“ What a great nights sleep, must be all the fresh air”.
“ Don’t kid yourself Stu, you probably dreamed about those huge hands gliding over you”.
“ Oh, shut up, Pete, I saw the smile on your face”.
“ How about checking out that bowling green down the far corner after breaky”.
“Sure, why not, lets go eat”>
The bowling green
“That’s not bowls, it looks like croquet, hell there are those two old tarts, hell, and they are calling us over”.
Old tarts.
“Did you enjoy your swim yesterday?, would you like a game of crochet, we can teach you if you like”.
“ Come on Stu, we’ve got nothing to loose, might be fun”.
“ They keep staring at us, Pete, wonder what they’re thinking”?.
“ That bigger one fancies you Stu, watch how she flutters her eye lashes”.
“ Bugger that, I’m off, maybe it is time for us to pack up and leave”.
On the way home.
“That was a real change, don’t you think, Pete. Maybe we should tone it down a little for the girls”.
“ Hell no, if we tell them the truth they will never believe that two middle aged fellows enjoyed a game of croquet with some old dears”.
‘ I think we could tone down the massage a bit, anyway I really enjoy the weekend, didn’t you”.
“ Sure did”
Word Count.1102.
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